Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
