I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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