I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
