I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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