There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
