Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
