these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
