We won't sleep together?
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
