im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
