I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
