How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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