So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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