She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
