we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
