none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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