I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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