i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
