here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
