i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
