you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
