I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
