We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
