Already got asked if we're dating
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
