Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
