Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
