I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
