I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm both gender and math confused
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
