Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
