Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
