mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
