so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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