she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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