he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
