she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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