i already hear my dad disowning me
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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