So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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