You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
