oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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