Sry I called you an 8
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I met the friendliest cop last night
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
