I think my vagina is haunted
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
