you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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