Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
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