If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So apparently I’m into choking now
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