I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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