We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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