my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
