He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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