I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
