i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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