Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
