I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
