so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
