I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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