I need help removing her.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
